


Nerd N General (HoneyBee)

by magicmumu



Series: Nerd 'N' General [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-19 02:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14865179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicmumu/pseuds/magicmumu
Summary: Astra takes up the guitar to help work through the heart break. Three years later, she isn't sure if she has succeeded.





	Nerd N General (HoneyBee)

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Honey Bee by Steam Powered Giraffe. I always loved this song but now that I am thinking about General Danvers for everything, I thought this was be a nice song from Astra about Alex. You can find it on Youtube. Also, I just discovered a band called Poets of the Fall and have been consuming their music throughout writing this. I know the story ends weird, so I am thinking of a sequel maybe. No promises because when it comes to writing, my word means nothing to me. During the song, anything in parenthesis are Winn and Astra's harmonies.

Astra sat fiddling with the strap of the guitar in her hands as she waited for her turn. She knew it was soon, as she and Winn were always one of the first to be called on stage for their performances on Open Mic Night at the coffee house. She had long ago requested to go at the same time each week, per a Friday night routine. She didn't always sing with Winn, as he had more responsibilities in his life than she had of late, but when they got together for a duet, it was always a crowd pleaser. Astra took her tea that Winn had bought for her, and drank it to calm some of her nerves. Even though she played here weekly, the crowd seemed to swell each week, almost to the point where Astra wasn't sure she would play the following week but always ended up doing so anyway.

 

 

**Three Years Ago**

 

_She felt nothing but rage, until she felt nothing at all. She wished, now, that she felt the numbness first. Maybe then, the Martian wouldn't have placed her in a cell to 'cool off'. She felt it was best, as she had now used her heat vision to burn three warehouses, two junk yards, and an abandoned sports arena to the ground and felt no remorse for it. Her hair covered most of her face as she stared at the ground, her heart heavy in her chest as she thought of Alex's parting words and the slam of the door. She refused to cry anymore tears, which was when her eyes went red with the lasers instead. She had only been in the cell for a day, the first of three, when she saw her niece. "Aunt Astra, I know you are hurting, but you know what you did was wrong. What if there were people in any of those buildings?"_

 

_"I made sure," Astra had replied dully, more than she had said for herself in days._

 

_"It was still wrong," Kara said after a moment. "You need to find another way to channel that. I am not taking sides or anything, and I know that the break up sucked, but...." When Astra said nothing else, Kara stayed for a moment longer before she left, promising to return soon. Astra wasn't sure she had believed her Little One then, but when Kara did return, her hands were not empty. "This instrument is similar to the strings on Krypton. I remember mother once told me that you played before you joined the Military Guild. Perhaps you can learn this as well." Kara took the guitar out of its case, and showed it to Astra, who lifted her head to look at it. Kara strummed it a couple of times and though different, the sound intrigued her aunt. "It will teach you patience, to be gentle, as these strings don't need a lot of coaxing to make music, and perhaps through music and song you can work through this. I'll see you after your sentence. Come to my place for ice cream and wallowing."_

 

_Astra had taken to the instrument as she had any other on Krypton, and once she understood the strings of the guitar and how to read Earth's music, she was able to make out a couple of songs from the book before she had been let out of the holding cell at the DEO. She apologized to the Martian and then helped clean up after her destruction before she holed up in Kara's apartment with the guitar never too far away unless she had been summoned for a mission, which was the only time she saw Alex and even then she was the subordinate to follow orders and make sure the mission succeeded with little to no casualties. After one such mission, Astra stayed behind for the debriefing when she could faintly hear singing from the locker rooms. It was Kara's friend Winn. She was impressed by his range, as he was singing a song she recognized from Celine Dion. She hadn't meant to scare the man with her intense desire to sing a duet with him, but Winn couldn't pass up the opportunity when they got together one afternoon not long after that. It was thanks to Winn and later Kara when Winn brought her into the conversation that Astra ever thought of performing. She wasn't interested in showing her skills off, but Winn pointed her to the concept of Open Mic Nights. He found a small crowd of maybe twenty at most, most of whom were performing themselves in a coffee shop outside of town, and she finally agreed to it if he were to be with her and if they sang one of the first songs they learned together. She was surprised by how well they had been received and had continued to come back._

 

**Present**

 

Astra was brought out of her thoughts when the MC of the night said, "And now for one of our crowd favorites who has been performing for us for about a year now - always a treat - Nerd N General!" Astra, as she did every week, rolled her eyes at the name Winn had given them. If said fast enough it could be a double play on words 'Nerd and General' or Nerd in General' if spoken certain ways, but she wished he had come up with something else. She looked to Winn as he took his spot next to Astra on the stage. She strummed a couple of the first notes of the song of the night as a test, and when she saw Winn again, he winked at her. Slightly off guard, she just rolled her eyes at him and then readjusted the mic in front of her.

When the clapping died down, Astra said into the microphone, "You're always kind. It's uh... been a bit hectic this week, so we could only get one song instead of two. This week, we are going to do - What song this week, Win?"

"This week we're doing the song Honeybee by Steam Powered Giraffe, you knew that General," Winn replied with grin. He knew she was trying to include him as much as she can, even though this particular song was for her, with very few places for him to blend voices with her.

"Right, I did. As always, this is dedicated to Alexandra."

With that, Astra began the beginning of the chords in earnest now.

 

 

 

 

 _You didn't have to say my name_  
_Ignite my circuits and (start a flame)_  
_But you (did)_

 _(Oh,) Turpentine (erase me whole)_  
_(Cause) I don't (want to live my life alone)_  
_(Well) I was (waiting for you all my life)_  
_Oh_  
_(Oh)_  
_Why_

 _Set me free, my...honey-_  
_(Bee)_  
_Ho-ney_  
_(Bee)_

 _You didn't have to smile at me_  
_Your grin's the sweetest (that I've ever seen)_  
_But you did. (Yes you did)_

 _You didn't have to offer your hand_  
_Cause since I've kissed it I am (at your command)_  
_(But you did)_

 _(Oh,) Turpentine (erase me whole)_  
_(Cause) I don't (want to live my life alone)_  
_(Well) I was (waiting for you all my life)_  
_Oh_  
_(Oh)_  
_Why_

 

 

Here, Astra sighed, her heart heavy as she thought about Alex, as she often did when listening to this song.

 

 

 _Set me free, my...honey-_  
_(Bee)_  
_Ho-ney_  
_(Bee)_

 

 _Hello Goodbye, Twas nice to know you_  
_How I find myself without you_  
_(That I'll never know)_  
_(I let myself go)_

 

 _Hello Goodbye, I'm rather crazy_  
_And I never thought I was crazy_  
_(But what do I know?)_  
_(I let myself go)_

 

 _(Honeybee)_  
_(Honeybee)_

 

 _( **Astra** )_  
_Hello Goodbye, Twas nice to know you_  
_How I find myself without you_  
_Hello Goodbye, I'm rather crazy_  
_And I never thought I was crazy_

 

_( **Winn** )_

_That I'll never know._  
_I let myself go._  
_But what do I know?_  
_Now you have to go._

 

 

  
There was the moment of silence as the song ended before the crowd erupted in applause and a few shouts, as Astra smiled at Winn and then at the crowd. She let some of her hair and her white strands fall over her face as she left the stage. She saw Winn high five another of the regular performers, and follow after her. Astra stopped suddenly when in the middle of her movements back to her table when she heard her name, soft within the clapping. She knew that voice. She tried to stop thinking about that voice saying her name so softly as it was then. She looked up and swallowed when she saw Alex in the back, her shoulder leaning against the far wall. Alex was in her DEO gear and Astra hurried towards her. "What has happened?"

 

"Nothing. Everything - Kara's fine," Alex replied. She raised her hands to cross over her chest as a defense, as a way to protect herself as Astra got nearer.

 

"Oh." Astra placed her hands on top of the guitar in front of her, as if to use it as a shield. "How did you find out?"

 

"Kara let it slip a month ago where she went when she joined you and Winn on stage for a song. There were pictures on her Facebook page that I asked about. I... I didn't mean to drop by, but the mission was close so... You guys were really good."

 

"I- Thank you," Astra choked out, feeling the hurt rise up again along with the embarrassment of Alex seeing her perform, hearing the song dedicated to her. If she had seen the agent, she wouldn't have added that in, even if any regular of the Open Mic Night would know anyway. "Are you staying?"

 

"Would you like me t-to?"

  
  
"I- We've already performed, so I suppose it doesn't matter. I think... I think I am going to leave." Usually Astra stayed to support the other performers and listen to the poetry that she didn't like admitting to relating to. Winn liked to stay and chat with one of the other performers, as she was also into computers and popular culture. Astra couldn't tell if he was dating her, as he always left when she did.

 

"Kara mentioned that you played the guitar now. I didn't know you had gotten so good." When Astra didn't respond, Alex sighed. "I wish there was something I could say or do to make this less awkward."

 

"I don't know if there is anything that can be done after 3 years," Astra admitted a moment later.

 

"I know." Alex sighed again. "I know. We left things so... unresolved. Maybe that is why you dedicate songs to me and I... I am here."

 

Astra swallowed. "Perhaps."

 

"I'm ready to talk. I wasn't always, and I know it has taken so long - I'm sorry for that - But if you want to talk about it all... Maybe find some closure... We can."

 

Astra wanted to tell Alex that she didn't want closure. At least, she didn't want to get over her. She wanted to be with Alex like they had always planned, but she couldn't just then and there. Instead she nodded. "We should. We need to."

 

Alex nodded as well, her eyes lowering to the floor. "Would you like to... maybe go get a drink?"

 

"Don't you need to change?"

 

"Yeah. I can meet you in two hours if you like. We can.. get to the talking." Alex rolled her eyes in the way Astra knew meant Alex was annoyed with herself. She felt a little better about the interaction, knowing that her ex was just as off guard as she was.

 

"Okay. I need to take Winn home and the guitar back to my place."

 

"Okay. See you soon." Alex reached out as if to place a hand on Astra's shoulder, but when she noticed Astra watching the movement, decided against it. She then moved towards the door and left the coffee house. Astra sighed as she allowed a tear to finally fall.

 

"Hey General. You okay?" Winn asked.

 

"Did you know she was here?"

 

"I thought maybe she would. I knew she knew about it, and lately... I don't know, she has been watching you and asking after you a lot, so..." Winn shrugged.

 

"I am going to leave now. If you wish to stay, I will see you at Kara's on Monday night."

 

"Okay." Winn patted her back. "Sleep well."

 

Astra knew no matter how the conversation went, she would not be sleeping any time soon. "Goodnight Winslow." Winn cringed as he always did with his first name said in full like that, but did nothing other than to wave. Astra placed her guitar in its case and after thanking the owner of the coffee shop, she ran at super-speed back to her apartment.


End file.
